||Hari Om||
When I started this blog yesterday, the title was "HIS Mortal Instrument".
I believed that this represented my complete surrender to Him as well as a sombre acceptance of and a cool indifference to the truth we know as Death...
However, I realize now that I lacked acceptance and most certainly indifference.
We tend to prove our worth to ourselves by pretending to accept and defeat that which we fear the most. This is a hollow victory at best, for our deepest fears are not dispelled but instead retreat to the darkest corners of our subconscious; becoming spectres that haunt us for eternity.
I feared death. I realize now that it is foolish to pretend otherwise.
This fear has always cast a shadow on my life. The fear of oblivion, of loss of identity.
I believe in the afterlife, always have; but even my happiest thoughts about heaven used to leave me with a twinge of fear somewhere in my soul.
The poem that features in parts in this post was one that I wrote as another expression of my so-called conquest over death.
However, until this day it was but words on paper. Then, HE breathed life into the empty words and made me whole...
The day is done,
It’s time to go,
Let’s reap the fruits
That we did sow.
The night has come,
Let’s say goodbye
To all we leave,
When we sail on high.
My limbs are bare,
As is my mind,
For all the jewels,
I left behind.
Not fame nor glory,
Not anger nor sorrow,
Can cross the border,
T’ween today and tomorrow.
I leave the land,
As I came before.
Victory and loss,
They matter no more.
The sun has set,
There is no light.
Let me disappear,
Into the night.
The dark consumes me,
And I forget,
All peace, all solace,
Hold just regret.
Of deeds undone,
Of words unsaid,
Foul memories black,
Do fill my head.
Oblivion looms,
My end is near,
I have lost all precious,
All that was dear.
At this moment,
I close my eyes,
Blind to the stars,
That fill the skies.
This was my life before I met HIM. A pretence of bravery hiding the underlying fears, darkness, inhibitions and despair.
Here I was, lost. I was sinking into the murky abyss my own thoughts had created. Though blessed with wonderful loving parents I still let fear rule my life; for then I feared the separation from my loved ones.
Fear is a persistent enemy ! However, HE overcomes all . . .
At this moment,
I close my eyes,
Blind to the stars,
That fill the skies.
But hark, listen,
What is that sound,
The noise of feet,
Upon the ground?
Upon my path,
Is there another,
Some sad, lost,
Wandering brother?
Listen,
There it is once more,
The sound of footsteps,
On the floor.
I open my eyes,
I cannot see,
Yet I feel HIM,
Near me.
Then speaks HIS voice,
Both gentle and mild,
‘Take heart, I love you,
My dearest child!’
I see a light,
A warm faint glow,
Remember the love,
I once did know.
And as the light
Falls on HIS face,
I recall HIS touch,
HIS warm embrace.
I stand up straight,
My tears dry,
I have no reason,
Left to cry.
“You and I,
Firm together”,
That voice, that face,
It is none other.
Then the One,
My dearest friend,
Who knows me, loves me,
To the end.
This night, HE spoke to us, HIS friends. He showed us the path.
Earth is Heaven
Heaven is Earth
There is no death
There is just Birth.
He gave us HIS word that those who love HIM need never fear death,
for the end of one life is naught but the beginning of another.
And in each birth, through every trial, HE will Always be with me.
My Parent, Teacher, Friend! YOU have set me free...
I take HIS hand,
Match HIS stride,
Together we roam,
Far and wide.
No terror lurks,
No sorrow strong,
HIS radiance they cannot
Bear so long.
No creature foul,
Dares raise its head,
Evil trembles,
Beneath HIS tread.
And we reach,
Our journey’s end,
And prepare together,
To ascend.
Here is the Sun,
It is the morn,
We walk together,
Into the dawn……..
Now I see every Sunset as a new, different and better Sunrise.
O Bapu, You have killed my death, and all that remains is life ...
||Shri Ram||
...HIS IMmortal Instrument... Now and always!
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