A Flower for God

 

|| Hari Om ||

 

A Flower For God

Mother Nature is the greatest and most abundant source of knowledge. She has the answer to every question we may ask. All we have to do is ask, and then observe and listen. A single moment listening to the rustling of leaves, the gentle breeze and birdsong is enough to refresh the mind and set in motion, gears that were long considered rusty.

This story is a little different, in that the protagonist is not our usual human hero. The protagonist is a shoeflower bush, by the name of Hibiscus.

Hibiscus is a shoeflower bush, that lives in my balcony. It is a humble shrub. Unremarkable, much like its fellow plants, basking in the sunlight. The only problem was that Hibiscus had not grown a single flower for more than a year !

 It was green and fresh and beautiful in its own right. But what good is a flowering-plant without flowers ?

Thus, it was to our considerable surprise that, at the beginning of August, we noticed a little bud growing on Hibiscus.

So we watched and we waited and we hoped, but each day was no different from the previous. We were not even sure if it would ever blossom. But Hibiscus knew.

Over weeks, the bud grew almost imperceptibly in size. It was a dull-yellow thing; not quite the colour anyone was looking for, but a bud nonetheless.

Then came the day of Ganesh Chaturthi, our most precious festival. Dearest Ganpati Bappa arrived Home.

Remember, this was 2020: “ The Year of the Lockdown”. Things were very different. Instead of our usual statue of Bappa, we had a simple photograph kept for worship. But we could feel His presence everywhere. We had been unable to buy flowers to offer to Bappa, so my mother had made a beautiful garland of simple hand-made paper flowers.

But somewhere, at the back of our minds, we were really missing offering real flowers to God.

This was exactly what Hibiscus had been waiting for! On the day that Ganpati Bappa Arrived home, the little bud bloomed. It blossomed into a glorious pink flower. 

 

And along with all the paper flowers, it was the only real flower that we offered to God.

What a journey, and what a beautiful place to finally rest!

 

As I looked at the Hibiscus flower adorning the garland of Ganpati Bappa like the most regal of gemstones, I had only one thought: “ Let our lives be this way.”

Whatever little that we are able to do; as per our capacities; let that be offered to God. Let our smallest actions bring joy to others. Let everything that we do be for God, for His work, so that we may rest at His feet forever.

Just like this simple Hibiscus flower, that waited and grew ever so slowly, just so that it could rest at His feet.

 

And the best thing about God; something our beloved Bapu ( Dr. Aniruddha D. Joshi) always says in His discourses; is that God does not want only the best of flowers or the most expensive of offerings,

He is wiling to accept anything that we offer Him with Love, be it a real flower, a paper flower or even just twigs. Just like He is willing to accept us as we are, with all our flaws.

And He is there to guide us, to blossom into the best that we can be.

My older blog posts are listed at the top of the page.
If you liked this post, do read the others as well ! All comments and feedback are welcome.

|| Shree Ram ||

|| Ambadnya ||

|| Naathsanvidh ||

|| I Love You my Dad ||

Dr. Arnav H. Tongaonkar @drarnavmht

20/9/2020

Ward Stories 1 : Hope

  || Hari Om || || Shree Ram || || Ambadnya ||

|| Naathsanvidh ||

Dear readers ! For those of you who don't know me, a brief introduction: 

I am a 3rd year Resident Doctor in Internal Medicine at KEM Hospital, Mumbai.

Residency is always a roller-coaster ride, full of  struggle and hardships, but also full of the most wonderful memories. Moments to be treasured forever.

I am starting this series to share some of the beautiful experiences and interactions that I have had during my residency. These incidents have really inspired me; and they are God's Supreme blessing, which have carried me through many difficult times. Hope you enjoy reading them as well.

Now, on to the story ! 

 

Ward Stories 1 : Hope

There are many times during the practice of the medical profession that we feel that we are fighting a lost battle, and all our efforts are going to be futile. We feel that we are swimming blind in a sea of darkness, fighting a many-headed enemy that we cannot even see. It is in such situations that we are truly humbled, when we realise how little we actually know, and how little is in our control.

The best we can do is not give up, and keep fighting, with whatever it is that we have.

The story I wish to share highlights this principle. 

The story is of a young boy (for the purpose of this story, his name is Hope) who presented to us with Refractory Status Epilepticus. Avoiding technicalities, this basically means that he was in a state of continuous seizure activity. He required constant sedation and was on a ventilator in our ICU for life support. His seizure activity was not controlled on more than 5 different anti-epileptic medications. Finally, he was introduced into a state of drug-induced coma. Any tapering of the medications, resulted in an immediate recurrence of his symptoms. He was in this state for more than 60 days.

His relatives were very poor and not well educated. They were very simple people. Our morning rounds used to always end with speaking to them at length. It was heart-breaking for us to explain to them everyday that our best efforts were not working. More so because of two things: it would have been almost impossible for his parents to understand what was wrong with him, since it was far beyond even Our understanding; and because they always looked to us with great hope and faith. They believed in us, even though we felt then that we were fighting an enemy we could not hope to defeat.

During my tenure, I have seen him requiring 3 inotropes ( life support medications) just to maintain his blood pressure, completely on mechanical ventilation. He used to throw a new challenge at us everyday, and we used to respond as best as we could. But it was like fighting a forest fire with a water bottle. But, we never gave up on him. And his family never gave up on us.

And one day, after a very long time, Hope woke up!

 He opened his eyes and began gesturing with his hands. Gradually, with careful monitoring, he was now off the Ventilator.

 Literature tells us that seizure activity persisting more than 30 minutes starts causing irreversible brain damage. Well, this was more than 60 days ! Who knew what state his mind would be in ? Would the parents get their son back, or just a shadow of what once was ? Here, again, he surprised us all.

 He woke with no deficit, completely recognizing his relatives, as if the last 60 days just hadn’t happened. The best start to our new year as that we spoke to him, and he spoke to us. And his parents, the simple farmer family, showed us such love, such as is difficult to come by these days. The smiles on their faces are something that I will carry as a talisman for the rest of my life.

We had tried many novel treatment modalities, something must have worked eventually. 

But, the bottom line for me is what one of my seniors at MICU said while we were discussing his recovery:

“ We kept him alive, God saved him”

I am not disregarding our efforts, for countless Faculty and Residents from various departments, Staff Nurses, Ward Mamas and Moushis (Helpers) have invested their hearts and souls in this struggle. But there is forever a part of the battle that is not really in our hands.
 

There are many times when we lose, and fall over and over again. The only thing that we can do is to keep rising and keep fighting. Victory is never guaranteed, but the effort is what we can and must give. It is easy to get tired and frustrated, to think of giving up, but even if you win only once in a hundred battles, it is worth it for that one person, that one family! 

Hope woke from his slumber, and in doing so, became a beacon for a hundred medicos. The next time that, we are stuck in the darkness, fighting an invisible enemy, fearing defeat, we will look back and say: “ We will give it everything that we have. Hope lives on, for all of us”

SETH G.S. Medical College & KEM Hospital

-Dr ArnavMHT
( This story has appeared in print in The Larynx: the college Newspaper)

My older blog posts are listed at the top of the page.
If you liked this post, do read the others as well ! All comments and feedback are welcome.

  || Hari Om || || Shree Ram || || Ambadnya ||

|| Naathsanvidh ||

Poem: The Burning Forest

|| Hari Om || || Shree Ram || || Ambadnya || || Naathsamvidh || 

 

The Burning Forest

There was a forest great and green,

A beauty to behold,

Filled with colour and beasts and birds,

And trees noble and old.

Untouched it was, far out of time

For years steadfast and same.

A fortress mighty, a haven safe,

Until the fire came …

At first it was a humble spark,

That did begin to feed.

Until none of the forest dwellers,

Could sate its endless greed.

I watched the fire as it ravaged,

The lush green forest floor.

Green to black, black to ash

 And the beauty was no more.

The beasts did flee, the birds did fly,

The ancient trees they fell.

As the haven, so lush, serene

Became a fiery hell.

Now the creatures have no home

All is consumed by the blaze,

In its hunger, devoid of mercy

The forest it did raze.

But is the fire the sinner here,

Guilty of this vile deed?

Nay it is the fire starters,

Arrogance, contempt and greed.

They are the ones that spark the flame,

Within the human mind.

That causes men to lose control,

Become selfish and blind.

Not the fire but man indeed,

Does leave the Earth so sore.

A single spark of greed, of lust

And the beauty is no more.

Now I see an empty plane,

Where ash does stain the mud,

And the sky is lit a fiery red,

Or is it the red of blood ?


 -Dr. Arnav H. Tongaonkar

My older blog posts are listed at the top of the page.
If you liked this post, do read the others as well ! All comments and feedback are welcome.

|| Hari Om || || Shree Ram || || Ambadnya || || Naathsamvidh || 

 

Connect

|| Hari Om || || Shree Ram || || Ambadnya || || Naathsamvidh || 

I have written this based on  my experiences over two years of residency. This article was awarded the 1st Place in the online competition- Innovative Ideas in "Ascension 2019", a conference on Medical Humanities, at Seth. G.S. Medical College and KEM Hospital.

Connect 

A disclaimer: this may not be what you were expecting. This is an idea, a feeling that has grown over two years of residency, born from a thousand moments and fragments of memories and feelings. There is enough innovation ongoing in the science of Medicine, this is a thought from the Art of Medicine.

Consider this less of an innovation, and more of a renovation.

The idea is fairly simple, and nothing very new. What I am proposing is simply restructuring an existing system. So : “Connect”. A social network with a twist. A social network for patients and their relatives to interact with their treating doctors. A platform for the Doctor to get to know the people they are treating better. Simple.

Now, to get to the thought process behind this. Currently, there has been a lot of discussion about the shaky nature of the doctor-patient relationship and the conflict that stems thereof.

I feel that one of the major reasons behind this is that just as Doctors tend to visualize

patients as a group of symptoms rather than a person, the relatives tend to visualize the treating Physician as a cold-hearted harbinger of bad news, who is cruelly reminding them that thei

loved one is ill and may not make it.

Neither side is right, neither side is wrong.

 

What is unsaid here is what stands between the two parties like a wall of glass. The Doctor has not seen the patient as the happy member of a loving family, a father, brother, mother sister, spouse or sibling, perhaps the soul and spirit of the home in their health. He treats the person who is ill, tries to keep the relatives well informed about the nature of the disease and tries to be as objective as possible.

This objectivity is not coldness, it a survival mechanism. It is a way to stay afloat and avoid being swept away in a tide of emotions. But, very often, the Doctor with the stoic façade is silently shedding tears inside, and not showing those tears is perhaps one of the greatest sacrifices we make as Doctors.

I know the tears that I have shed, both in joy and sorrow.

The incident that comes most prominently to mind, is when a Doctor had the privilege of extubating a lady who had been ventilator-dependent for 45 days. Shortly after that, she was visited by her young children. I think the Doctor cried more than the relatives that day.

His tears did not go unnoticed, and they remain in touch to this day.

The reason I am quoting this incident is that I feel this “social network” will help patients and their relatives understand that the person treating them is no machine, no deity, but a flawed and simple human being just like them.

And the treating physician will get a better idea of what his patient was and what restoring that life means to so many people. I have the seen CPR being performed with twice as much intensity because a child was clinging on to the hand of the one who had collapsed. Simple things, but they go a very long way!

These stories are often shared on existing social media as anecdotes, but in the turbulent ocean that is the internet, they are unable to bridge the divide as they should.

Thus, I am looking to create a sheltered Social network with just the healthcare workers and their patients, both current as well as past. A place for them to show to each other the people they are. Not Doctor. Not Patient. Person.

Here, they can share anything that they choose about themselves. The only filter that I would like to place is that there will be no Online consultations, something that most practitioners dread! Also, any negative comments from either side should never mention names. We are here to grow together, not to hurt. There will be problems and mistakes, but that is what makes us human.

I was pleasantly surprised when a patient’s relative asked me whether I play the violin. He had looked me up on Facebook! Then we had a conversation. A real conversation, as people. And on that foundation, the consultation continued.

From a Doctor’s point of view, I can vouch for the fact that nothing beats the feeling of seeing your patient getting better. This is the feeling that needs to be shared not just with our colleagues, but also with our patients. 

Let the doctor know more about the PERSON he is treating, let the patient know more about the Doctor as a PERSON.

 At the end of the day, we are people treating people. As simple as that. The pedestal that was once privilege for a Doctor now just makes us an easy target. Its time to step down and walk among the crowd.

This is my idea: the simple use of existing internet infrastructure to increase the “ Connect” between us. Upon admission, the patients and relatives have access to the Profiles of their treating team, as well as to stories posted by the Care-givers and their former patients.

They get to know more about the people looking after them. They are encouraged to share stories about the patients in health as well as in disease. They get to see that their Care-giver is also a person, the much loved child of some simple family who is now toiling day and night to keep their loved ones healthy. A person with dreams, hobbies, talents a aspirations. Just like them.

And as the conversations grow, the barriers melt away by themselves.

I hope that this innovation will help reshape the future of the Doctor-Patient relationship.

It will help restore the Human touch. We are here to touch lives, and the lives we have touched will stay with us forever, also shining as a beacon to other lost souls.

At the end of the day we will realize that whoever we are; Doctor, Patient, ill or healthy;  we are not so different. It is when we realize this, that we will truly connect.

-Dr. Arnav H. Tongaonkar

Resident Doctor, Internal Medicine

 Seth G.S. Medical College and KEM Hospital

My older blog posts are listed at the top of the page.
If you liked this, do read the others too!

|| Hari Om || || Shree Ram || || Ambadnya || || Naathsamvidh || 

Poem- Reflections

||Hari Om || || Shree Ram || || Ambadnya ||

I recently had the privilege of attending a conference at Kochi, which is a truly beautiful place.
This Poem is dedicated to one of the best Sunsets ever, spent in the company of friends.
I hope I manage to convey a fraction of the feeling. #ApiconKochi

[The photographs used are my own :) ]

 

Reflections

In the gentle light
Of the setting Sun
Here the sky and
Sea are one

 

 

The scent of music
Fills the air
Leaving neither
Fear nor care

 

 

With the tide and
Ebb and flow
The boats at peace
Do gently row

And as the light
Gives way to dark
Into a different realm
We embark

 

 

Where all the glistening
Lights from shore
Light up the sea
With so much more

 

 

Like Fairy lights
From a distant past
Upon the waves
Their glow they cast

And in the reflections
A different world
A secret, covert
Place unfurls.

 

Just inches from
The Sandy beach
But across the mirror,
Out of reach

 

 

Shadows, light
And rustling trees
The ripples dancing
In the breeze

 

 

Single steps turn
Into miles
And much is said
In silent smiles

 

 

The present soon
Becomes the past
Mirrored upon
The rippling glass

 

 

In a heartbeat, fleeting
The moment's gone
And reflected as a memory
It will live on!

-10/2/19
-Dr. Arnav H. Tongaonkar
|| Shree Ram ||
|| Ambadnya ||
|| Naathsamvidh ||