||Hari Om||
When I started this blog yesterday, the title was "HIS
Mortal Instrument".
I believed that this represented my
complete surrender to Him as well as a sombre acceptance of and a cool indifference
to the truth we know as Death...
However, I realize now that I lacked
acceptance and most certainly indifference.
We tend to prove our worth to ourselves by pretending to accept and
defeat that which we fear the most. This is a hollow victory at best, for our
deepest fears are not dispelled but instead retreat to the darkest corners of
our subconscious; becoming spectres that haunt us for eternity.
I feared death. I realize now that it is foolish to pretend otherwise.
This fear has always cast a shadow on my life. The fear of oblivion, of
loss of identity.
I believe in the afterlife,
always have; but even my happiest thoughts about heaven used to leave me
with a twinge of fear somewhere in my soul.
The poem that features in parts in this post was one that I wrote as
another expression of my so-called conquest over death.
However, until this day it was but words on paper. Then, HE breathed
life into the empty words and made me whole...
The day is
done,
It’s time to
go,
Let’s reap the
fruits
That we did
sow.
The night has
come,
Let’s say
goodbye
To all we
leave,
When we sail on
high.
My limbs are
bare,
As is my mind,
For all the
jewels,
I left behind.
Not fame nor
glory,
Not anger nor
sorrow,
Can cross the
border,
T’ween today
and tomorrow.
I leave the
land,
As I came
before.
Victory and
loss,
They matter no
more.
The sun has
set,
There is no
light.
Let me
disappear,
Into the night.
The dark
consumes me,
And I forget,
All peace, all
solace,
Hold just
regret.
Of deeds
undone,
Of words
unsaid,
Foul memories
black,
Do fill my
head.
Oblivion looms,
My end is near,
I have lost all
precious,
All that was
dear.
At this moment,
I close my
eyes,
Blind to the
stars,
That fill the
skies.
This was my life before I met HIM. A pretence of
bravery hiding the underlying fears, darkness, inhibitions and despair.
Here I was, lost. I was sinking into the murky
abyss my own thoughts had created. Though blessed with
wonderful loving parents I still let fear rule my life; for then I
feared the separation from my loved ones.
Fear is a persistent enemy ! However, HE overcomes
all . . .
At this moment,
I close my eyes,
Blind to the stars,
That fill the skies.
But hark,
listen,
What is that
sound,
The noise of
feet,
Upon the
ground?
Upon my path,
Is there
another,
Some sad, lost,
Wandering
brother?
Listen,
There it is
once more,
The sound of
footsteps,
On the floor.
I open my eyes,
I cannot see,
Yet I feel HIM,
Near me.
Then speaks HIS
voice,
Both gentle and
mild,
‘Take heart, I
love you,
My dearest
child!’
I see a light,
A warm faint
glow,
Remember the
love,
I once did
know.
And as the
light
Falls on HIS
face,
I recall HIS
touch,
HIS warm
embrace.
I stand up
straight,
My tears dry,
I have no
reason,
Left to cry.
“You and I,
Firm together”,
That voice,
that face,
It is none
other.
Then the One,
My dearest
friend,
Who knows me,
loves me,
To the end.
This night, HE
spoke to us, HIS friends. He showed us the path.
Earth is Heaven
Heaven is Earth
There is no
death
There is just
Birth.
He gave us HIS
word that those who love HIM need never fear death,
for the end of
one life is naught but the beginning of another.
And in each
birth, through every trial, HE will Always be with me.
My Parent,
Teacher, Friend! YOU have set me free...
I take HIS
hand,
Match HIS
stride,
Together we
roam,
Far and wide.
No terror
lurks,
No sorrow
strong,
HIS radiance
they cannot
Bear so long.
No creature
foul,
Dares raise its
head,
Evil trembles,
Beneath HIS
tread.
And we reach,
Our journey’s
end,
And prepare
together,
To ascend.
Here is the
Sun,
It is the morn,
We walk
together,
Into the
dawn……..
Now I see every
Sunset as a new, different and better Sunrise.
O Bapu, You
have killed my death, and all that remains is life ...
||Shri Ram||
...HIS IMmortal
Instrument... Now and always!
